Looking For A Job

As most of you know I have been looking for a job, off and on, for some time now. I think the reason I hate looking for a job is the stupid process you have to go through to get the job. The dumb questions they ask you on a resume and in the interviews. I came across this application that was filled out for a job at McDonald's and it cracked me up. I so want to have the nerve to do this someday.

McDonald's APPLICATION
This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald’s fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: John Smith
SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.
DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.
DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
EDUCATION: Yes.
LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.
SALARY: Less than I’m worth.
MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.
HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.
DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.
MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?
DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?
DO YOU HAVE A CAR?I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”
HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.
DO YOU SMOKE?On the job no, on my breaks yes.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blond super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.
DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?Yes – Absolutely.
SIGN HERE: Aries.

I'm A Wally Fan

You may be asking Wally who? Wally is my favorite DJ. Brandon thinks that I have a crush on Wally. He is just a hilarious DJ who hosts a funny evening show on Way FM 89.7. If you ever get a chance to listen to him and need a good laugh he is on from 6 to 10pm Monday thru Friday. I know that this is the cheesiest plug but I even laughed when I went to his website and found his todo list. I had to post it because he made me laugh again. I went to the website to begin with because I have been listening to Wally for a while and began to get really curious about what he looked like. Radio personalities never really look like what you expect them to look like. I was shocked to see Wally. I had him pictured as wwwaaayyy cooler but it won't stop me from listening to him. You can check him out at totalaxxess.com.

Another Face Lift

I thought it was time for a new face lift. The yellow was about to make me puke sunshine so I went with stripes and I LOVE IT! Sorry I haven't blogged in a while we had a Trojan (which I guess is a virus) and oh did we ever have computer problems. Leo came and fixed our computer for us now we are almost good as new but we can't figure out how to get our e-mail now. If you are reading this and need to get a hold of us don't e-mail just call. Hopefully we get that figured out soon because it is driving me crazy. Anyhoo, I hope to post something more exciting than this soon so stay tuned.