Funny and Sad but True

I was reading through blogs and came across this on Between Diapers and Dishes and thought that it was so true that it was sadly funny. I know that I have been guilty of it as many of you I am sure. That is one thing (good and bad) about house church, you can't do these things because there is not enough people and you will get caught. Do people really think that knowbody knows what they are doing. I think alot of the time they don't want to know what is being said because it might convict them to change. They show up and put in their hour once a week so that they feel better about themselves. They are not there to worship or gain more knowledge but to show their face. Anyways read on...

Quarterback Sneak - Church members quietly leaving during the invitation.

Draw Play - What many children do with the bulletin during worship.

Halftime - The period between Sunday school and worship when many choose to leave.

Bench warmer - Those who do not sing, pray, work, or do anything but sit.

Backfield-in-Motion - Making a trip to the back (restroom or water fountain) during the service.

Staying in the Pocket - What happens to a lot of money that should be given to the Lord's work.

Two-minute Warning - The point at which you realize the sermon is almost over and begin to gather up your children and belongings.

Instant Replay - The preacher loses his notes and falls back on last week's illustrations.

Sudden Death - What happens to the attention span of the congregation if the preacher goes "overtime."

Trap - You're called on to pray and are asleep.

End Run - Getting out of church quick, without speaking to any guest or fellow member.

Flex Defense - The ability to allow absolutely nothing said during the sermon to affect your life.

Halfback Option - The decision of 50% of the congregation not to return for the evening service.

Blitz - The rush for the restaurants following the closing prayer.